hide

let me hide away my deepest soul so that you can't see it, let me hide away the obvious things wrap it all in a cloak of darkness. why should i be seen and why do i not want to be seen. what is it about me that reacts to being seen. i wear my heart on my sleeve but i am not forthcoming when i talk face to face. the blog is a replacement. it's just like the catholic confessional- it's an escape. for one: God will forgive you if you ask him and for two: if you really want that healing you have to tell someone who you really care about. the catholic priest in the confessional is a replacemant, they have no face and they have no meaning. it takes no real courage to tell the confessional your secrets and a blog is the same. it is so easy because you are just typing and this is why typing helps me think. because the things that i won't even say in my mind, i will type. and so the blog entry that reveals so much is not a public apology, but it is a confessional. so father google, father no one, i have sinned. i have wasted life. my life. my time is precious and I have been wasting it. forgive me. but the void forgives no one and so i must talk to the real God not the god of the keyboard. the keyboard only understands and can translate a limited emotion, but the true God understands me fully and heals me fully. the keyboard is no substitute for the mouth, but I am happy that it helps me think, helps me come to terms with my world and my life. Now it's time to open my mouth though.
fool sitting here typing