Festival Sunset

sunlight on the mountain
festival
with the joyful people
gathered on the hill
sometimes
the joyful people
gather on the mountain too
sometimes
the waters rise
sometimes
I get drowned in the night tide
copyright of Luc Lhereux
circa two-thousand and two

but sometimes
baby sometimes
I think of you

The sun is going down
but on the hill
the joyful people gather still
sometimes
a word of doubt will pull them back
and beat them black and blue
sometimes
I burn the things
that keep me to

but sometimes
baby sometimes
I think of you

we're in the dark of night
the festival
will pass us by
we've come down from the hill
sometimes
the joyful people
sit entombed in wood and steel
sometimes
we burn the midnight candle through
sometimes
we sit in silence, watch the moon
sometimes
in dreams I walk the city streets

but sometimes
baby sometimes
I dream of you


soundmime

perfectly still

listening to Bright Eyes - A Perfect Sonnet

Summerland is a town in stasis. Nothing happens really. On the weekend we had Action Fest and everybody got out of their houses and watched the parade and went to the beer garden and danced through the night at the Summerland dance. And in the morning everyone awoke and went to work and the lady serving coffee missed our order because she had been at the dance, but on the tommorow of yesterday, nothing's changed. Everything has returned to normal like a rubber band or a boomerang.

listening to Bob Dylan - Tangled up in Blue

Sometimes it gets to me, I like to do things. I like to do things that stay, things that make a concrete change in the world I live in. In mmorpg's, programmers try to give gamers the illusion of the power to change things, you're slotted into instanced events where you can defeat a boss or a battalion of enemies, but the fact of the matter is that game companies simply can't afford to let gamers make concrete changes in a game world with other players. Things happen, like the parade, but when all is said and done it won't affect anybody else. Life shouldn't be like a game. We can change concrete things in our world.

listening to The Pixies - Where is my Mind

Sometimes it feels like we`re set in stone, we do the same things every week, we say the same things when the same things happen, and we do the same thing every time when we get tired of it... we go on a bloody vacation. I don`t want to go on a vacation. Before I went to the Timothy encounter I was apprehensive because with all these conferences and events we get all fired up and ready to go when we leave, but when we get home nothing has changed. We`re the same person as when we went, we haven`t changed, we just wasted our time and our money and we go back for another helping next year and to a dozen different conferences in between. It`s a bit like taking drugs, we take our supplements to keep our bodies healthy, but when we don`t get stronger we just take more and our body learns to depend on them until we can`t stand up on our own. And we will... We will continue to take our drugs, we will continue going to our conferences, we will continue playing our games, until we`re just shells, or until we come to a realization that we need to get off our pills.

listening to Marcy Playground - Sex and Candy

When we came back from Timothy something was different. Mark had been blown away by the Holy Spirit and when he came back it carried into his life and it was powerful, Aaron and Sam were also given direction and the teaching from Timothy and the refilling of the Holy Spirit had a huge impact on their lives when they came back. I was also blown away, and when I came back there were things that changed, big things, but there are things that stayed the same. It reminds me of being in New York and walking to the middle of Times Square and turning around and feeling like the world was rushing all around me and I was perfectly still, a blur of motion all around me. I feel like I`ve stopped moving in one direction, but I`ve stopped moving and I need to start moving again, I need to start moving in the right direction. Oftentimes we can be doing nothing wrong and be doing nothing. I want to do something. I want to change something, burn something, build something.

fool sitting here typing

Ode to a Friend

There are places I cannot visit anymore
Without you
There are places I can only visit alone
An empty hole beside me
There are thoughts I find it hard to resurrect
There are things I cannot do

There's a place in the city we frequented
Sandstone blocks and pizza dirt
Burned brick building and the arena of words
A music house always changing
It's form in flux with all contained
It's hard for me to go there
Without you

There's an album I can't buy
Maybe for the best
It was your favorite once upon a time
Adorned with Rosa or Delilah I can't tell
But you were convinced of Rosa for a reason
I will never find out why
Without you

Without you
There's something missing
The sidewalk's harder
The city sounds are dissonant
There's blood in the alley
There's cursing on the beggars tongue
Without you
I can't be here anymore

Pipe Smoking Professor

Stormbreak

The turning point was the erasure of memory, all that followed will not be forgotten. Like a diamond drill cutting deep in the subconcious, not tipped, but in fullness, not denying but embracing, not seeing nor understanding nor doubting the presence of God.
In the air is a water, a flood, tangible and intangible, cleansing and breaking in thunderous appellation. A mist not mystical nor mystifying, but real as the air in which it resides. And sat in a mountaintop or a valley the feeling is the same, of isolation, of camaraderie, of waiting and of consumation. We sit it out, some plan their escape, others revel in it, but all sense it. We're blindsided, we come to a halt. It's been hanging on the very air for some time, but none of us really saw it coming. The weight of the day has decended. Though we stoop to pick it up, it has dissipated. We have lived in tension without knowing it, and all of us came here for the same reason. We were waiting to wait, both knowing it and not knowing it in the same breath, but we all feel it.

Soundmime

Subject Matter

Listening to Zombie by The Cranberries

My right hand is in shreds right now because I was sofitting. It's not even funny. I figure I have about 1,200 cuts on my thumb and the first two fingers alone. in fact those are the only three fingers that really have a good amount of cuts, but I must have lost about a gallon of blood between them. Really there are so many that you can't even distinguish between the different cuts, it all blends together into one big wide cut. It's actually pretty cool, pretty savage.

Listening to I`m Blue by Eiffel 65

I`ve been looking for a typewriter for a long time now because when I use my computer to type I always get distracted and end up playing just one game of star wars battlefront II or doing a dozen other things other than what I started out to do, type. I figure that if I can find a typewriter then I can find myself an isolated place and I`ll be able to actually get some stuff down. Also I figure that the quality of work goes up when you do it on a typewriter because there`s no backspace key (if you get an old enough typewriter). Coincidentally the typewriter that I just found the other day is old enough. Now all I have to do is pick it up before 5:00 tommorow (and buy it (for more than I would have wanted to)) and I`ll be in the clear.

Listening to Suzanne by Leonard Cohen

I still haven't decided what I'm going to do in the fall. I've given it a lot of thought and I've prayed about it, but I haven't got an answer and I haven't been thinking of it much lately. It feels like I thought about it so much and tried so hard to decide and prayed so much about it that I'm tired of it and the very idea of thinking about it just feels like a lot of work now. My original plan was to go to Kwantlen because going to TWU would be too expensive to do on my own without loans, but then I was talking to Dad about it and he said he would make up the difference between Kwantlen and Trinity if I went to Trinity. So now I don't know what to choose. Trinity is a good university and it's a christian university and I know a lot of people there, but if I'm not paying for it myself and there are always strings attached when someone else is paying for you, I like my independence, sometimes I think too much. Kwantlen isn't a christian university, but it is a reasonably good university and it's only fifteen minutes down the road from Trinity so I wont miss my old friends and I'll have an opportunity to meet many more, but the biggest difference is that if I go to Kwantlen I can probably pay for it myself without loans. Is it about independence or just pride, or even simply freedom. I pretty much have to pray about it. I'd also appreciate any prayers from anybody, because that would just be way cool.

fool sitting here typing

X-tra Cab

Here, in all it's beater awesomeness is my Toyota X-tra Cab.



I got out of bed sometime in the afternoon so I'm still pretty insanely scruffy looking (along with the fact that I have a bunch of polycoat in my hair, which makes it do strange things). It's pretty solid up here and amazingly warm out today so I think I'm going to take a walk. I still need to get the truck insured, but I've been learning standard on it so driving it around a bit anyways.

Park Ranger

pulp non-fiction

listening to paper planes by MIA

I just woke from a drooling nap episode. I woke up when the light was turned off by Amy. I guess I just fell asleep on my bed because i was so tired, which doesn't make sense because we only had a half day of work today. Just before I crashed I was reading Douglas Adams' Long Dark Teatime of the Soul, the sequel to Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency. I think that's what put me to sleep. Not because the book wasn't great, because it's a really great book, but because it was a book. I never used to have this problem, I was a voracious reader, but soon after I left university to take a year off I found that I was unable to read for more than a few minutes without becoming extremely drowsy. I've still managed to push my way through some great books, but it has become increasingly difficult to do so. Partially I blame this on the fact that during university I read books because I had to and I generally read them extremely late at night. I figure that whenever I pick up a book now, my subconcious automatically associates that with sleeping. The only other explanation is that the pages of books contain a powerful aphrodisiac, our reaction to it being latent at birth but activated through a complicated series of events. Before I was reading I watched the movie Ella Enchanted with Anne Hathaway, a really odd film that didn't make a lot of sense and aped a lot of other more successful and overall better films, but had a decent premise and actually came out alright in the end (not in the sense that it had a happy ending because all fairy tales but Pan's Labyrinth have happy endings (though Pan's Labyrinth had one of the best and most beautiful endings ever... period.), but that it actually had a decent climax and wizard of Oz like twist that made you think... a bit.. for a few seconds...). The reason I was lounging about and doing leisure activities in the middle of the day was that we only had a half day of work today, just some loose ends that needed tying up. We finished around noon. in the intervening time I got a truck.

Zen Master